One of my least favorite things about being unemployed has to be the wait. The wait to find a job post that remotely matches your skills. The wait to finish the unnecessary long applications. The wait to hear back from companies you applied to. The wait to have a phone interview. The wait to see if you get a call back interview. The wait to get a call saying that they understand your unemployment struggles and want to offer you the job of your dreams without you interviewing because your resume is more than they can ever ask for and they can literally hear your awesomeness through the phone. (Listen here – it’s my blog so I am allowed to dream!) The wait just leaves me with too much time on my hands (outside of applying to jobs) that I am not used to having, to think about everything I wasn’t doing, like working.
It’s important to understand that I am someone who has always had a busy schedule. If it wasn’t school, it was my job and if it wasn’t my job, it was my extracurriculars and if it wasn’t that it would be my at-home hair business ( yes – I do hair but more on that later), and so on and so forth. I never really had this much time to myself so you can imagine how this can be uncomfortable for me at times. It can make me feel idle – as if I am not living up to my greatest potential or pursuing the purpose God has for me. Man, the lies that the devil will have you believe in your most vulnerable moments.
Sadness can slowly creep in and ultimately cause me to take my frustrations out on my husband (by default since he is closest to me), making me more sad because then I feel like a mood-swinging jobless jerk. Although it is important to be able to express myself, it isn’t fair to my husband who also deals with his own struggles during the day (not to mention carrying the financial burdens of the home and other things he doesn’t want my pretty little head to worry about) from work to family and also needs his spouse to be there to at least greet him with a kiss and a warm hug. It’s an unhealthy behavior and needs to not be a thing I get in the habit of doing.
So what now?
I remember binge watching YouTube videos a couple of months ago, stumbling upon a few DIYs on how to make clutches and thought hmm – this is easier to make than I thought. With the next chance I got, I headed over to my nearest Jo-Ann Fabrics and bought all the materials I needed. I followed the step by step instructions of a video and within a week and some change I completed my very first vinyl clutch and sewing (hand-sewn) project. I felt like I was on top of the world and was excited to do more so then I went on to hand-sew a shirt.
Then it hit me…
I actually enjoy doing this stuff and it is a fun way to keep busy when I wasn’t applying to jobs. I was always pretty good at arts and crafts but it has been a loooooonnnnggg time since I actually had the time to do them and learn them. These few projects have me excited about other creative ways to express myself, while providing some enjoyment and maintenance of my sanity during this waiting period. Now I definitely want to purchase a sewing machine and take this skill to a new level.
I won’t lie to you and say that I no longer feel doubt, concern, worry, or disappoint because those feelings come with the unemployment territory but they have become easier to cancel out because I am doing something bigger than these creative pursuits. Rather than feel like my life is dependent upon the job I obtain, I am exercising God-given skills that I have and discovering new ones to remind myself of what I am capable of and what I mean to God. Sometimes the wait has the tendency to reduce you and all of your accomplishments into an applicant number and focus on the “preferred” skills you don’t have so, yea, the reminder is certainly needed.
My new found creative outlet, coupled with my daily scriptures and prayers, have helped make the wait less emotionally draining and feel more like a blessing. After all, said wait birthed this blog that the world will soon know and grow to love *smirks*. Arts and crafts may not be your thing and it doesn’t have to be but using this time that you may not have when you do get employed to also focus on exploring your interests may help you find the sanity you need in this unemployment process. It sure helped me salvage mine. All I need to learn now is balance. *Sighs*
Stay tuned to see the details on how I made my clutch and shirt. Until next time!
“For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7