Happy New Year, beautiful people! We thank God we made it to 2019!
Like most years in my adulthood, 2018 literally flew by. One day it was January 1st, the next day it was Christmas and the rest was a blur, yet when I think back on it so much actually happened last year. I felt like I grew a lot spiritually which in turn helped me become a better wife and more acclimated with my life in Dallas. I experienced some professional lows and even greater highs but most importantly gained a ton of confidence in myself and my professional abilities. The list can go on and on about all that happened last year but one of the most important things I am grateful for was the amount of reflection I was able to have especially towards the end of the year.
What you all don’t know is that in the last few months of 2018, I was feeling like I was coasting through life and not living out my potential. It just felt like I was going through the motions and watching others’ lives happen instead of going out there to live mine. This feeling was especially apparent after I had my wedding as I had nothing else to do once it was done because I made wedding planning consume all of my time. So many creative ideas and projects collected dust in my head and when my husband would ask when I was going to act on it I would make one excuse or another about how I didn’t have something in place to make it happen. It was all nonsense and a disguise for my procrastination and fear. I internalized this idea that there would be this “perfect time” for me to act on an idea and said opportunity would magically land in my lap.
I turned down opportunities because I felt like what I had was not good enough and one moment like that turned to another moment like that, then ultimately a mindset. I saw myself boxing up my own potential to have limited chances to grow. I cringe knowing that I did this to myself because when exactly is the right time? When exactly will I become “good enough” to accept opportunities that would only push my creative abilities?
The truth is, is that I have alway been good enough. In fact, God made me great enough but I was too busy viewing where I was at through the lens of the world and not through the lens of God. I became shortsighted and forgot every prayer that I made unto Him and didn’t recognize that answers from Him were right in front of me. Building blocks He was using to grow me and mature me for even greater things were being presented to me and I didn’t have a clue.
This message has been sticking with me for the last few weeks and I’ve been more open to taking risks and stepping out of my comfort zone creatively. More “yes, let’s do it!” and less “not right now”. Surely, I wasn’t able to accomplish everything I set out to do but I know only God’s timing is perfect and all things both good and bad work for the good of those who believe in Christ Jesus. I needed that feeling of coasting through life to reflect and ask God to set my mind right for 2019 in a way that would have a lasting effect. In 2019, I have hopes to strengthen my trust in Christ, build and grow my brand, create another stream of income for my family, collaborate, be intentional with my fitness and so much more. I can’t worry about tomorrow because in this moment, it doesn’t exist and therefore the “perfect time” will always be now. At least to start and make progress towards the goal.
Drawing strength from the Lord will be key because I can’t do this off of my own will but rather off of His. I certainly understand that I have the power of choice but I need Him to continue to burn this fire inside me and grow it. This year will be a game changer for me and I am hoping it will be for you as well. I want to hear from you all on your thoughts going into this year. What are you excited for? What are some goals you have? What do you want to say “yes” to?
“Ask the Lord to bless your plans, and you will be successful in carrying them out.” – Proverbs 16:3