So let’s get real for a moment about something I am currently battling with and praying about ya’ll….
My husband is someone who is always open to feedback from me (or anyone) but recently, I noticed that whenever I gave feedback, it turned into a larger discussion about me and my delivery. My initial reaction is “Why is he making it about me when it should really be about him?!” My defensive walls go waaaayyyy up, making it hard for me to see the bigger picture and instead more focused on trying to validate the feedback I gave but I’ve been going about it all wrong.
I had to examine my intentions when giving him feedback and to be honest I can get really petty. I’m talking add-something-extra-into-the-conversation-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-nothing-just-for-the-sake-of-getting-it-out type of petty which only ever takes away from the point I’m making.
” I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.” – 1 Corinthians 13:1 (GNB)
This verse beautifully sums up the point that a lack of love when we speak completely voids the message we want to send. How can my husband pay attention to the feedback I give him when my pettiness turns my truthful feedback into “a noisy gong or a clanging bell”? Noisy gongs and clanging bells are not only loud, they are distracting! I want to speak life into any interactions I have, especially ones with my husband. I don’t want to add any distractions. I am sure you don’t want to either. I am better than this, you are better than this, and certainly the purpose God has for our lives is better than this.
As I seek God’s guidance in helping me act solely out of love, I encourage anyone who can relate to this to join me in this as well. There’s a lot of truth and wisdom God has placed inside of us to help and serve his children, but blessings are being missed (for both you and the person you are speaking to) when we substitute love for our flesh. Until next time loves!
7 thoughts on “You’re Right…But Your Delivery Sucks!”
Men and Women communicate differently and these exchanges are complicated even more when marriage, finances, in-laws, career, children, and so many other issues are involved. What’s love got to do with it? There’s a reason the Bible talks about husbands loving their wives and wives respecting their husbands because this is the language of love for each of them. Men need to feel honored and respected and women need to feel loved and appreciated. Establish the “rules of engagement” when you communicate and fight and realize what you both need in order to be heard and listened to (2 entirely different things) and you’re on your way to better intense fellowships. There’s more I’ve learned after 30+ years of marriage but I’ll just leave this info for now Beloved.
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Thanks Mrs. Hinton! I definitely agree and this post isn’t only geared towards marriage (although my marriage helped open my eyes about it a lot!), but also for all relationships, whether close or not, whether friends or acquaintances. I just want to be better about communicating out of love to anyone I come in contact with. Thank you for your words of wisdom and may God continue to bless your union!
I relate to this so much and its something I’m working on as well. Great post! ❤
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So glad you understand! Thank you so much for reading!❤
This post right here…..man ooh man! This was good, thanks for sharing. You opened my eyes and mind to understanding this scripture even more.
Very powerful message! We can be 100% right but a poor delivery will diminish the substance of our point. There is always a way to say even the most uncomfortable thing. At work I’m great at strategizing how to say what. But at home, I guess I expect him to know me and the frustration with that tends to fuel my deliverance. Great point. Taken well! Thank you.
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Thank you so much for reading and girl you hit every point especially about being able to have patience and strategically convey my thoughts at work but not at home. We can tend to give the ones closest to us the hardest time. I know I can be guilty of that. Thanks so much for sharing that!